whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
We named our party play list daddy issues
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
