We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
