I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
