i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
