remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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