Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize