I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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