my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
