Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
