Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
