You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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