He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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