The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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