Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
we made out on top of his cat.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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