Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
