So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
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We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
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He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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