a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Hippo gnu deer
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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