i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
