just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
