I need help removing her.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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