My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
