I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
