We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
