we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
