We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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