And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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