the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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