Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
