I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just had sex on a roof
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
