So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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