if you like me you must not know who I am
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
