I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize