I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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