Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
