I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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