there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
