My hand turned me down
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
