On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
