those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
