Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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