I feel great
I just peed on a car
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
