I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
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i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
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don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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