yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
