i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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