So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
