I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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