I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
