im drinking this country out of the recession.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
