The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
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I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
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She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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