You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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