OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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