Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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