I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
