then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
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