Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
