Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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