Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
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I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
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As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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