why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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