I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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