how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
