I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
im holly from the hills drunk
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
